yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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