Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
