WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
