I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
