I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
