I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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