Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
