I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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