under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
