we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
