I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
