Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
