you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
