Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
