I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
