i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize