I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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