$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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