these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
