textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
