She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Green mimosas i think yes
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
