I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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