If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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