Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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