it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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