It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
