i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
