yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize