You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
