Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
