nut hugger
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
