he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
