I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
