ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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