The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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