So drunk its hurt
you would pick up someone in the library
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
