You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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