You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
