Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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