If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
