I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
