Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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