would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize