If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He felt like a one man threesome
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize