What did we do last night that was yellow?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
