I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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