I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
