i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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