She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
