I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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