If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize