I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
