So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
