I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize