did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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