I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
