I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
