So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
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