just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
