why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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