She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
