she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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