He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
