She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
