You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
