All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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