You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize