I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
